Here goes Everything

I am not afraid that I won’t find someone to spend the rest of my life with.  I have proven time and time again that I am perfectly capable of living with another human being for extended periods of time, no matter how I truly feel about this person, what I truly want, and who the other person is.  

I am truly afraid that I won’t take the time to get to really know and love myself. I am capable of loving and focusing my time on others, but seem to have trouble focusing my time on, and loving myself.  I am constantly battling with myself over who I am and who I want to be. I know partially, deep down who I am & what I want, I am just constantly struggling to bring that person to the surface. She comes out here and again, but typically runs away in fear and self-consciousness.  

I have temporarily given up alcohol in the hopes of searching deep within myself to learn more about who I am today.  Image